May 13: 18km
The day before I was so upset because I had to say goodbye to my Angel Dani and also had lost Neda, PJ and Mark. However, it turned out Mark wasn’t lost after all. He was just really taking his time and arrived at the albergue in the evening. He just went in to pick a bed and then was off for another jogging session. What on earth….? Later that evening, Jürg, Mark and I had dinner together, which turned out to be “the last supper”.
The next morning I made arrangements with Jürg to meet in the albergue in Viana, 18 kilometers from Los Arcos. A lot of people wanted to go further to Logrono, the capital of the region Rioja – which is famous for its wine. I knew that Dani would be there as well, as he had talked about a famous street full of tapas bars he wanted to enjoy later that day. I also assumed that Neda, PJ and Mark would be heading there today. But as sad as I was to let my friends go, I finally needed to listen to my body. I was painfree now, but knew that walking 28 kilometers was way too much for my knees. After all, I was still the tiny girl with the heaviest bag. Jürg had had a knee operation last year and he wanted to take it slow – even though he was doing absolutely excellent – so I was glad that I would meet him in Viana later that day.
Jürg always started very early in the morning – at 6 a.m. or 6.30 a.m. at the latest – while I was still having my breakfast. Mark was still asleep, so I once again started on my own.
on the road
For the first time it got quite hot. I had read in my guide book that the albergue in Viana has a beautiful park and so I was looking forward to an afternoon in the sun, being absolutely lazy and doing nothing. It was easy walking again and everytime it got a bit harder I just sang to myself.
An hour before Viana my most feared moment had come. I was taking a break along the path, when Mark came along.
“How are you doing?” he asked, looking down on me as he was standing while I was sitting cross-legged in the dirt.
“Very well. But I will only go to Viana, taking it slow and give my knee some time to heal.”
He nodded, but got quiet. There was an awkward moment of silence, where the both of us didn’t know what to say.
“Well, I’m gonna….” he said and directed West to tell me that he wanted to keep going. Should I join him? I didn’t move.
“Okay, well I will do some stretches and then hit the road as well.” Was that the moment of goodbye? “
“Well, Viana probably isn’t very big. I will take a break there, so I will see you there.”
“Yes, see you there.” I said and smiled at him.
As he turned around, I was still sitting cross-legged and could hear my heart break.
Today, I wonder if he knew that we will never see each other again. He had walked the camino twice before. Did he really not remember Viana? Did he really not know that it was a town of 4,000 inhabitants and not just a tiny little village with three houses and two trees? I didn’t, but as he turned around I could feel that this had probably been the most awkward goodbye in my entire life. I am not good with goodbyes anyway. If I had hugged him, I would have probably never let him go. It is strange how Marathon Man Mark had become so important to me in only a week. He has been such a great help, inspiration and motivation and I will never forget his strength that gave me strength too. Maybe there is nothing wrong with falling…
It was noon, when I got to Viana. Of course it was big and there were people everywhere. I could see hundreds and hundreds of people, locals, tourists, pilgrims – but not one Mark. The albergue had just opened. I went to pick a bed and was shocked. The bunkbeds had three floors!
three-storey beds!!!
I looked around for Jürg, but couldn’t find him. Maybe he was in the shower? Or out for lunch? I looked in every bed, trying to recognize his sleeping bag, but there was no sign of him. He had given me his phone number in Estella and so I sent him a text message: “Where are you?” He replied that he had arrived in Viana so early that he would have had to wait hours for the albergue to open, so he walked on to Logrono. I was close to crying. I felt so lonely. Now I didn’t know anyone.
I went to sit down in this beautiful park on the back of the albergue. Right next to the albergue and the park is a ruin of a very beautiful church – a magnificent and powerful place, where I started writing my diary:
the ruins of iglesia San Pedro
The iglesia San Pedro dates back to the 13th century
The church collapsed in 1844 after the Carlism war
The beautiful park behind the church and albergue
The view from the park
“Today I decided to have a short day. The path was rather easy and at lunch time I was already here, having walked 18 kilometers. Actually, I could really have walked further on to Logrono, but it was such a nice day and I did not feel like spending it in a big city. I also wanted to give my knees a rest and must admit that after such a short day, they are already feeling much better. Today was the first day that passed without fighting myself to the next town. This time, it wasn’t a struggle and I can feel how thankful my body is for that.
Right now I am lying in this beautiful garden that belongs to the albergue, next to the church San Pedro. The scenery is absolutely amazing and I might just get a tan.
While writing the last lines, someone had approached me and asked if I got internet access on my phone. I don’t even have a phone where I could log onto the internet! In every albergue there are computers to check emails. But why would you do that? This doesn’t feel spiritual at all. For so many people, the whole thing is just another holiday. Most people stay in groups, together with their partner or friends. They are rushing to the next town to have some time for sightseeing. Others just take a taxi or catch the bus. Some ask for their bag to be brought to the next hostel. I cannot help but judge them, calling them “cheaters”. But who am I to judge? Maybe walking every day with pain will bring long-lasting damage to my knees?! Who knows! Other people just don’t have as much time or even the strength as me to do the camino the way I do it. Why do I keep looking at others? Comparing myself to them, judging them…why can’t I simply stay within myself?
Due to my short day, I lost everyone. Neda, PJ, Mark, Dani and Jürg are all in Logrono now. It does hurt, even though I have met most of them a week, some even just a few days ago. The friendships you make here seem to be become so intense in such a short time. I feel very lonely today, but on the other hand it is also nice to have some peace and quiet and not always be in a conversation.
I am lying in this park for hours now, just chilling and enjoying the here and now – pretty much what I came here for, but for some reason something is missing. I can’t believe that I got so close to some people in such a short time and that it hurts so much letting them go now.”
The Yellow Arrow 