May 14: 21,5 km
The day before I felt so incredibly lonely. I had lost all my camino friends and didn’t know anyone anymore. When I started walking, I noticed that I was all alone on the road. The past week there was always someone around – in front of me, behind me. It was even a bit too much. I thought this was a walk to find oneself. But how can you do that when you are in the middle of a pilgrims’ crowd? Walking towards Logrono however, there was no one. It was a bit spooky. First I lose all my friends and then I am all alone on the road as well. I cannot help but ask myself: Is that a mere coincidence? Or is the camino now supplying me with loneliness? People say: The camino supplies; not necessarily what you want, but for sure what you need.
Well, right now I didn’t really need loneliness. Before I started the camino I was very worried about being surrounded by so many people all the time. I am more of a loner and I like my own space. But I got so used to people now that I missed them dearly.
Later that day I wrote in my diary: “I’m finally going that lonely path I actually wanted to go. Going it now I wonder what the beauty of loneliness is after all. I always wanted to be on my own. The first week on the camino, though, has brought me closer to friendship. Funnily enough, I hardly ever had very deep conversations with my new friends here. It was just about hanging out together really. And I enjoyed that so much, just being present, sharing moments together. I miss that now. What a beautiful way to bring me closer to friendship and appreciation of friends.”
The walk to Logrono was not nice at all, even a bit difficult, because the yellow arrows were missing. Instead you had signs like these:
There was a lot of industry and the city itself was very ugly as well. But I saw a lot of street art connected with the camino, which I was quite interested in. The “buen camino” (English: have a good way) graffiti was cheering me up a bit. So here are a few photos of the street art I came across.
I was the only pilgrim in a big city and tried to find my way round. I wondered if I might be on the wrong path. Where have all the pilgrims gone? A bit outside of Logrono, I saw the first pilgrim. He seemed lonely as well and was keen to talk to me.
“Where are you from?”
“Germany” I said quite coldly, because I really didn’t want to talk to him. I missed my friends, but I really was not up for a conversation with a stranger. I didn’t want to answer all those first questions like: What’s your name? Where are you from? Why do you do the camino? No, I was moody today and I just wanted to be left with my own thoughts. I thought I had given that man a hint by not asking him back where he came from. He told me anyway. “Brazil.”
“Aha”, I said and walked a bit faster. Suddenly he started talking in broken German. I found that a bit strange, but didn’t care that much to stay in that conversation. I walked even faster. He tried to catch up and spoke louder so that I could still hear him. He said or better shouted that he is a German teacher in Brazil and very keen to practice his German on me. And I was just keen to get away from him. I was so impolite by not reacting and just speeding up more and more to get away. But he was impolite too, because I made it quite clear that I wasn’t up for a conversation and he kept forcing that conversation on me anyway. I just walked on and in the end he gave up.
That speeding turned out to not have been such a good idea. My knee pain was back. I started limping again and was in need of a break. So I stopped, sat down in the middle of a Rioja vineyard and got out some snacks.
Five minutes later, the Brazilian stalker caught up with me. Brilliant. I looked away and he luckily passed by. I know that this wasn’t nice camino behaviour, but I was not feeling so well mentally and all I wanted was being by myself. I didn’t mind him walking behind or in front of me, I just didn’t want to talk.
As he walked very slowly, I soon caught up with him again. When I got close to him, I sped up again and he started talking to me again. I couldn’t believe it. I got very angry, but shut my mouth as I knew that once I started speaking, evil things would come out of it. I walked faster and faster and he just shouted at me: “Schnell laufen ist nicht gut. Langsam, langsam must du gehen.” He told me to walk the camino slowly as this is how it is done.
He was absolutely right though. I was walking way too fast and way too much the past week and now that I didn’t know anyone, I was free to listen to my body in the end. I did not have to force myself to a specific albergue to meet my friends, I could just stop whenever and wherever I wanted. Just as long as I was as far away from this creepy Brazilian man as possible!
The fence next to the motorway was decorated with wooden crosses by many pilgrims over the years
massive bull sign – not sure why it was there and what it really means though.
I arrived in Navarrete at quarter to one. It wasn’t even open yet. A few people were already waiting for the doors to open. Among them Felice and her mum. We were sitting at the same dinner table back on the first walking day in Roncesvalles and I have seen them quite a lot since then in albergues and on the camino. They were very fit and walked fast. They often had a late start, but always passed by and were in the albergues an hour before me. So I was very surprised to see them in Navarrete. With their speed, I thought they would be much further by now. But the 18-year old Felice from Holland told me that she too had struggled with knee pain for the past days, which slowed her down dramatically. I was glad that I knew at least someone and was not surrounded by complete strangers. I really wasn’t up for meeting someone completely new. It just takes so much effort and I was absolutely exhausted – physically but also mentally. And so I hung out with Felice and got to know her a bit better.
The Yellow Arrow 